Day 19

So today was an ok day at work actually kind of slow day.... I am so super excited I am going to midnight showing of eclipse with cammie, karie, and charissa. We are even wearing our twilight shirts. I will post pictures!!! I am getting really excited. I have a dr. appt tomorrow at 8:15 so i am going to be dead at work tomorrow. o well it will be worth the show. They test me again tomorrow and do another ultra sound. I am getting nervous~~ I did my shot tonight and it is not too bad. Quint mixes the drugs for me because it is too stressful for me to do it and I still inject the shots into my stomach. I think I only have to do that until monday. I hope that my numbers are up tomorrow. We will see. I am having horrible headaches from the medication. Fun side effect! I am sooooooo excited for this I really hope this works!!!!!

Day 17-18

YESTERDAY WE WENT TO CHURCH AND MY VISITING TEACHERS CAME OVER.PRETTY QUIET BORING DAY. I HAVE  NOT BEEN WANTING TO WRITE BUT I PROMISED MY SELF I WOULD WRITE WHILE GOING THROUGH INVITRO.
TODAY I GOT MY NAILS DONE AND I HAD TO GET MY BLOOD DRAWN. MY ESTROIDAL LEVEL SHOULD BE AT A 100 AND IT IS AT 50. THEY INCREASED MY MEDS TO SEE IF THAT HELPS. THAT IS STRESSING ME OUT REALLY BAD. I HOPE THE INCREASE HELPS WITH MY BODY. AHHHH I AM FREAKING OUT.
I WENT TO LEATHERBY'S WITH QUINT AND JAXTEN AND IT WAS YUMMY. WELL OFF TO BED... SORRY SO SHORT!

Day 16

Today was saturday so I cleaned all this morning. I mowed the back lawn and mopped, did laundry, and cleaned my upstairs. I got quite a bit done this morning. So that was a good thing. I decided to get Jaxten's hair cut and I usually take him to cookie cutters but they were busy so I took him to great clips. Not s uch a good idea. He screamed and kicked and the lady was going all slow. I was thinking, " Hurry it u p he is two and does not have much patience!" He did not have s uch a pleasant experience. 
We went to my mom's in the afternoon I tried to swim with Jaxten but my mom's pool heater is broken so it was much too cold for a swim.  Jaxten took a nap for 4 hours and so did Quint and I. I mixed my shot today and it was a lot harder than quint made it look yesterday. I was all stressing out. He still had to help me. I wanted to the shot myself and I did. My dad did not like me lifting my shirt up in front of him.  It's not like I was taking my shirt off. lol. It was my stomach, and I did not swell as bad with this shot.  We had KFC for dinner and took Jaxten on the rides at T-ville days. I will  post pictures when i get them on my computer. He went on some cars, bugs that fly in the air, spaceships, Monster trucks, Two different train tracks. On one of them they had to stop the ride because he was standing up.lol.  We went on the merry go round. Quint had to leave early and my mom met me down at the rides and we got some dip n' dots and went up to my mom's  house for fireworks. Jaxten really liked them and some family from my parents ward sat on their lawn and Jaxten was cuddling with some guy and making himself at home. He kept calling him daddy. It was pretty embarassing. Quint is playing cards at my brothers right now. I went to my appt. and they think I have 17-18 eggs but we will see how many grow. I go back on monday for bloodwork and wednesday for a vaginal ultrasound and more blood work. This is crazy that the implantation is coming up so fast. So good so far, I am just trying to keep faith. Thats all I can do!!!!

DAY 15

TODAY WAS A BIG DAY!!!! I HAD MY SUPRESSION CHECK TODAY AND WENT REALLY WELL. THEY TESTED MY BLOOD AND DR. HATASAKA DID A VAGINAL ULTRASOUND ON ME.  I GOT TO SEE MY UTERUS ON THE MONITOR IT WAS PRETTY COOL. MY UTERUS LOOKED REALLY GOOD. HE SAID, " MT UTERUS COULD NOT LOOK ANY BETTER!' YAAAAAH! THENT HE LOOKED AT MY LEFT OVARIE AND THERE WERE ABOUT 7 EGGS OR SO. MY RIGHT OVARY HAS ATLEAST TEN AT THIS POINT SO THAT IS GOOD NEWS. I START THREE MEDICATIONS TODAY. HCG,LUPRON, AND FEMERA. (THE EGG GROWING MEDS) I HAVE TO MIX IT PERFECTLY SO QUINT IS GOING TO HELP ME WITH THAT.  SO I HOPE MY BODY DOES NOT HAVE BAD REACTIONS AND I WILL BE GOOD. IT IS GETTING CLOSER SO THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. SO THE NEWS IS GOOD SO FAR. YAAAAH. I AM TRYING TO HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD THAT IT WILL WORK.  I HOPE I HOPE THIS WORKS!!!!

Day 13-14

Ahhh.... I have been really bad at writing everyday so I apologize!!! So yesterday was the first day of my new hire at work. She seems to be doing really well so far so that makes me really happy. I was a little worried but I think I found the right one.  I dropped Jaxten off at Kjersten's house and I left for work.  I got there and was pretty busy all day.  It was a pretty good day at work.  I was worried because i stopped my birthcontrol on the 18th and then I was supposed to have a period and I did not get it until yesterday and I thought it would throw off whole cycle.  My shots are starting to hurt more and more because my stomach is sick of all the sticks!!!! I read a book took a bath it was a good day.

Today is thursday and I headed off to work in the morning.  I was worried because I have been having a RCT done and this was my third appointment. This tooth was difficult. I had a huge honkin cold sore from being worked on last time. So my tooth did not get numb easily so he had to give me 6 carpules of anes. my tooth is retarded. Then my dad numbed my left and right side of lip so I could not feel the cold sore.  The left side came unnumb 30 minutes into procedure.  So he put super glue on the cold sore and that made it feel much better. My appointment took over two hours to finish. ahh i am glad it is done with. I got a cashier's check for the rest of the money we owe and then picked up jaxten and went to taylorsville days. He went on cars, merry go round, big slide, train, and much more.... he had a blast. He had a lot of fun. My shot tonight felt not so good. "I have some nice burning around the injection sight.  Tomorrow is a big day. My supression appt. where they see if my ovaries have been shut down. If they have I go to three shots a day to make my eggs grow! Wish me luck!

Day 11-12

Ummmmmm.... I have to think about yesterday. oh yes, Quint and I had an appt. to sign a bunch of paper work for the invitro.  It took from 9:30-12pm. Which is a while for paper work.  I feel like we are signing our life away.  We talked with some named Michelle for part of our paper work.  She went over a big part of the two cycle package that we are paying for.  We gave the billing department $13,000 in cash.  The lady said, " Have you heard of a check?" I was thinking have you heard of an audit!  So that took a while to count our cash.  We still owe about $4,000 and I am going to pay that on Friday at my appointment.  After that we met with Heather Riley to finish up signing consent forms and then we went home and picked Jaxten up from my mom's house.  I slept over at her house the night before so I did not have to wake Jaxten up way early.  My mom made us breakfast of french toast and bacon which was very good! I did some house work and took a nap and I hired a girl on at the office.

Today I had work which I did not want to go to.  Oh well such is life, Today was acutally a busy day at work so it went by pretty fast.  After work I got the rest of the money from Quint's parents then Quint had to leave for work. So I really did not see him today. This is his last Tuesday for his second job.  Today Jaxten had a Dr. appoitment. He is 50th % for heighth, 25% for weight and his head is still huge.  Jaxten's dr. said he is glad to see his Kindergartenders know the stuff that Jaxten knows. He feels like he is really smart.  So that makes me happy.

I am getting more and more excited for the invitro I want it to get closer.  I really hope it works!!!! I am putting my faith in the lord on this one. Quint thinks it is going to be a boy if I get pregnant.  We will see? I just want jaxten to have a friend to play with.  He deserves that much, my shot today did not feel so good but I am getting used to them. imagine that????

My Fertiliy specialist is Dr. Hatasaka, My pediatritcian- Dr. Terashima, My OBGYN- Dr. Yamashiro. I hope this man makes me a miracle baby!

Day 10

So today was Father's day!!!!! I let quint sleep all day because he works tonight.  He really enjoyed that, I got him some pants and shirts and a book that his dad gave him last night.  The same one so I had to take it back.  We had dinner at my mom's and there was drama there.  I like how when you have to do shots people are rude to you because it is inconvenient~~~ "I am sorry my shots don't fit into your schedule!" I was very upset and people can just be huge asses on this subject.  Sorry of my langugage but it angers me!!!! Quint calmed me down and we played some games tonight as a family. That was a lot of fun!!! My cousin and aunt came over today as well. It was good to see them.  I have this nasty hive type rash on my arms and it really itches.  i am not sure if my meds are causing it or what but it is not fun.  Jaxten totally freaked out and he did not want a bath and was being his normal tantrum thrower.  I just stay calm with him and try to calm him. We are going to sign all of our forms tomorrw and we are going to pay.  Yikes
I hope this works.....

Day 8 -9

Ok I was bad last night and I was too tired to write.  Yesterday I went shopping the morning with Jaxten for groceries.  Which, by the way, he was really good yesterday.  I went to my sister-in-law babies shower last night.  It was hard to go to, but I am happy for her so good luck to her.  Baby shower's are always hard though.  Jaxten had a lot of fun with all of the other kids there.  Somehow he got sick from something last night.  He threw up in the night and then in the morning and has diarhea.  he is pretty miserable. 

So my meds are not agreeing with my stomach.  i feel like I am going to throw up and that is not a good feeling.  I do not want t he shot tonight.  oh well.... you gotta do it~ I feel crappy today but I am not sure if it is a bug or if it is my medication.  We are going to dinner tonight at Quint's Mom house for dinner.  So that should be interesting. We are trying to gather the money up while we have to pay for invitro this week. About $17,000.

Day 7

Ok So today was my last day of work for this week which makes me happy.  I am having super crazy dreams while I am on this Lupron.  I mean CRAZY! My brain is thinking of some funny stuff.  So work was actually pretty slow today.  It kind of drug on.  I went and got my last cashier check for invitro we have to pay the $17,000 on monday so we are saving up as much as we can.  We have really sacrificed a lot to do this procedure.  Quint has been working two jobs plus he is going to school.  I have made him quit the second job as it is getting closer.  It is too much for him to handle.  So this new schedule will be better.  We have saved about 10,000 in three months and then we are borrowing the rest from our parents. It will be well worth it in the end we hope.  I feel nausiated right now again for some reason.  I do not like this feeling. So jaxten is getting to be so funny.  He is at the funnest age. 
Tomorrow is my last day on birth control. yaaaaaaah! I go on the 25th for my supression check.  Then I start all my next medications for this.   I really pray and hope this works.  This has been so hard for me to deal with.  I just want atleast one sibling for Jaxten.  This really makes you appreciate your kids so much more!!!!

DAY 6

So Today I felt a little nauseated I threw up at work and so that was fun.  Other than that it was a pretty normal day.  I went to work and had a pretty normal day, Quint came by and gave me some lunch because we were running really behind.
I had a root canal done on my tooth today.  My tooth would not get numb. I did an interview on a girl today and I really liked her.  I did my lupron shot tonight again.  I kind of look forward to each night I do this because it is one day closer to my implantation date. We pray everyday for a baby that will be blessed with our home.  We really would love twins!!!! I know it would be hard but so rewarding to both of us.  We are still waiting on our house.... it is taking forever!!
So I have a ton of Dr. appointments coming up so I am trying to arrange baby sitters for Jaxten.  He is such a bear these last couple of days.  I think his ear is hurting him still we will see. well I am trying to keep hope and stay positive. I am getting more excited, I can't wait til the blood test! Well I am going to finish the book, "Eclipse". The movie is on the 29th and i am super excited.

Day 5

So today is a huge day for me well last night was!!!! I was thinking in my head what if quint can't do my shot one night? I thought, "Well maybe my dad can." Then I came to the conclusion that I need to do it myself.  I went in the bathroom and said , "Quint how do I do this?" He told me what degree to go in at and I did it!!! This was a huge feat for me, I am so deathly afraid of needles.  I just did the shot again tonight and it was not bad at all. Quint looked at me like I am crazy but I am  now a shot giver!!!!
This morning was a little rocky at work but it ended up being a pretty good day. I went to work and was pretty busy.  Quint got called off tonight and we went to my mom's house a nd had a steak dinner.  Which was very yummy!!!!I played with Jaxten outside then he kept following my dad around the pool helping him.  I was worried he would fall in pool so I took him swimming for the first time this summer. He absolutely loved it!!! He kicked and blew bubbles and he jumped to me in the pool.  We ended the night with strawberry shortcake. mmmmmmm. Pretty good day!
Day 5 of lupron is done and over with....

Day 4

So today was a pretty good day! I took Jaxten to the aquiarium and I went to the mall and had  lunch with my mom.  jaxten had a lot of fun today.
I am still not feeling sick so that is good! I did something huge today!!!!! I gave myself a shot and that may not seem like a big deal to some but to me it was huge! I am very afraid of needles and this was a very big deal.  It was not too bad! So i did get my normal swelling from the injection sight but other than that I am feeling pretty good.  Other than our disagreement tonight today was a good day.  Quint and I are in a very stressful situation so sometimes we are not as nice as we should be to each other.  i am getting nervous for the other shots!!!! well off to bed....

Day 3

So I feel much better today. I am not throwing up or having other stomach issues.  I am just a little crazy right now. The lupron is definitely messing with my hormones.  Last night I went to my brother's farewell party because he is joining the airforce and there were a couple of pregnant people there.  The thing with IVF that makes me upset is the fact that know really gets what it is like to not be able to have kids. It is the most painful thing ever. I am glad for people who get pregnant but it is hard to be around that at the same time.
This morning, Quint said " you need to learn to do shots yourself." I kind of got really mad at him and he is just hysterically laughing at how mad I am and that makes me madder! Then I start bawling right after that so I can definitely tell how the hormones are affecting my body. I laugh when I look back at how my hormones are.
I feel so blessed that I can actually do this procedure. I am putting my faith in the lord that I hope that it works out in the end.  I am trying so hard to be positive! I will not lie, it takes ever fiber in my body to do this.  I hope that if i have strength to do this I will be a much better person in the end. The shot today was not too bad. I only have one month left before they implant embryos!!!!!! I am excited.....
So Jaxten was not a happy camper today. He has double ear infections with his tubes in. He is miserable poor little guy! I do not like it when he is not feeling himself it breaks my heart! I love him so much and will NEVER EVER take him for granted!!!!!!  

Day 2

So I woke up with horrible nausia and I had diarhea from my lupron so that made me happy. I am sure you do not want to know that but I am being completely honest and blunt. So this morning I woke up and dropped Jaxten off a Kjersten's house. She watched him for me while I went to an Invitro meeting that was mandatory.  Jaxten was not happy to be woken up so early today.
on my way to the meeting I ate some hash browns and orange juice because I thought it would help my stomach.  During our little class I was dying and I was trying to not throw up.  I was having hot flashes and i could not focus on what the Nurse practitioner was saying.  Then in the middle of class I had to throw up my orange juice and hash browns.  Quint and I left the meeting early because they were teaching us a bout shots and Quint already knows a bout that stuff. We talked to the billing department and they said it would be about $17,000 for the packaged deal.  So we went home and I picked up JAxten's new dresser I got him and we put it up in his room.  For lunch I got pizza so I will she if I can keep it down.... Jaxten calls pepperoni, "chuck a boni." That made me really laugh so i am going to take a nap to see if my stomach will settle. It's my parent's 40th anniversary today by the way so a big day today.

Day 1

Ok So I promised my self that I would write on my blog every day so I can have my feelings of going through this all down on paper. I have been so scared and excited about this day since we found out we can't get pregnant. Today was day one of my Lupron! I was so nervous because I do not like needles but Quint is giving me all of my shots since he is a RN. I trust him a lot more than I do myself. I do not like poking my self. He used a insullin needle that was about 1/2 inch so not to bad. I did not even feel him poke me. Then My stomach started swelling at the injection site. Quint said I hope it does get worse. Then at that point I freaked out! Then I read that a side affect of Lupron is redness at injection site. It went away within the hour. So day 1 is down so good so far. I will keep you updated. We have an invitro meeting tomorrow where we  sign our lives a way. I will write more then...