update

I am doing a quick update Last Thur I was pregnant and I went back on Saturday just assuming my levels would rise more. They told me that I was miscarrying!!! I had so much hope. My due date was suppose to be on Nov 16th. I am starting to bleed and pass the baby. The baby was 4.5 weeks when it died. Thanks for all the support!

TODAY IS THE DAY

I AM WAITING MY BLOOD RESULTS AND I AM STARTING TO GO CRAZY..... I WENT IN AT 8:30 THIS MORNING AND I AM WAITING AND WAITING. THIS IS SO NERVE RACKING. AAHHHH! SO I DECIDED TO WRITE TO PASS THE TIME BY. I CALLED THE CLINIC AND THEY SAID THERE WERE NO RESULTS YET. SO I SHOULD GET THEM SOMETIME TODAY. SO I AM TRYING TO STAY CALM.
 I HAVE BEEN SPOTTING A LITTLE BIT AND I HAVE NOT GONE INTO WORK THIS WEEK AT ALL. I HAVE BEEN ON BED REST AND TRYING TO KEEP THESE BABIES ALIVE! SO I FEEL LIKE I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING THAT I CAN. EVERYONE IS ANXIOUSLY WAITING AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW AS SOON AS I KNOW!!!!!

UPDATE ON THE INVITRO

OK SO TODAY WAS A EXCITING DAY.... I WILL GET TO THAT IN A LITTLE WHILE. SO TODAY HAS BEEN A WEEK SINCE THE EMBRYO TRANSFER. I HAVE BEEN TAKING IT EASY ON BED REST FOR THE LAST WEEK. IT WAS KIND OF NICE TO BE ABLE TO TAKE A NAP BY MY SELF DURING THE DAY. I THOUGHT GOING INTO THIS THAT THE TWO WEEKS WOULD FLY BY. I AM DRIVING QUINT NUTS SAYING, " DID IT TAKE?" I ASK HIM EVERY DAY AND I AM DRIVING HIM NUTS. OUR NEW WARD WAS GREAT WITH TAKING CARE OF US B Y BRINGING MEALS. IT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL! MY MOM AND MY FAMILY HAS BEEN SO WONDERFUL THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING. ESPECIALLY MY MOM. SHE HAS TAKEN CARE OF JAXTEN, CLEANED MY HOUSE NUMEROUS TIMES, TAKEN JAXTEN TO KJERSEN'S. SHE HAS HELPED MORE THAN SHE KNOWS..... I HAVE BEEN CRAMPING HERE AND THERE. TODAY I HAD A SCARE AND HAD A LITTLE BLEEDING. IT MADE ME VERY NERVOUS AND SCARED. I AM TRYING SO HARD TO RELY ON PRAYERS AND PUT MY FAITH IN GOD! WHICH IS A HARD THING AT TIMES.

SO IT WAS BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION AT MY FAMILY YESTERDAY AND JAXTEN WENT AND GOT A CAKE WITH HIS GRANDPA. HE HAD A LOT OF FUN! SO I DO NOT FORGET I HAD MY EGGS TAKEN FEB 23 AND PLACED FEB 28TH. I GET MY BLOOD TEST SOMETIME THIS WEEK. I REALLY AM PRAYING AND HOPING THAT IT IS GOD'S PLAN FOR US TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD ADDED TO OUR FAMILY! I FEEL LIKE I HAVE LEARNED A LOT FROM THIS TRIAL AND I FEEL VERY READY TO BECOME A MOM AGAIN. I HAVE DONE MY PART SO NOW IT IS UP TO THE LORD AND WHAT IS IN STORE FOR US. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!

I have not written forever.....

I HAVE NOT WRITTEN IN A WHILE! THERE IS SO MUCH THAT HAS GONE ON IN OUR LIVES SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN LAST. MY LAST INVITRO CYCLE DID NOT WORK AND IT WAS VERY HARD FOR US! WE HAVE TRIED TO HEAL FROM THAT ORDEAL AND MOVE ON AS BEST AS WE CAN! WE DECIDED WE NEEDED TO TAKE A BREAK FROM THE BABY STUFF AND NOT WORRY ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE. SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN LAST WE HAVE HAD MANY MILESTONES IN OUR LIVES. JAXTEN HAD A VERY GOOD BIRTHDAY! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT HE TURNED THREE IN DECEMBER! HE IS A JOY TO HAVE IN OUR LIVES! THIS LAST YEAR WAS THE HARDEST HANDS DOWN YEAR I HAVE EVER ENDURED IN MY LIFE. I SWEAR EVERYTHING WOULD GO WRONG AND WE WERE DEF. BEING TESTED. WE HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS AND THIS YEAR HAS STARTED TO TURN AROUND ALREADY. QUINT GOT A JOB IN A ICU FOR ST. MARKS HOSPITAL AND WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR A LONG TIME. HE GOT HIRED OUT OF MANY APPLICANT AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS HIRED. THIS HAS BEEN A HUGE BLESSING IN OUR LIVES!

 AT THE END OF JANUARY WE MOVED OUT OF OUR HOUSE AND WE MOVED INTO MY BROTHER JEFF'S HOUSE. HE CALLED US THE DAY BEFORE WE MOVED AND SAID BTW, I GOT HURT AND I AM COMING HOME. THEY STILL LET US LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE AND THEY LOWERED OUR RENT WHICH HAS BEEN ANOTHER HUGE BLESSING IN OUR LIVES!


NEXT BIG MILESTONE IS MY BROTHER FINALLY GOT MARRIED! YAAAAAAH! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HIS WIFE SHE IS A SWEETHEART. HER NAME IS ANDY AND SHE IS A SPECIAL ED TEACHER. THEY HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR ABOUT A WEEK NOW. THEY GOT MARRIED IN THE SLC TEMPLE AND HAD THEIR RECEPTION AT THEP POINTE. WHICH WAS VERY NICE. I HOPE THAT THEY WILL BE HAPPY~ 

THE NEXT BIG THING THAT HAPPENED IS I STARTED ANOTHER INVITRO CYCLE~ YES, I KNOW THAT I AM CRAZY BUT WE PAID FOR IT AND SO WE DECIDED TO GO FOR IT. I HAVE BEEN A LOT CALMER DURING THIS CYCLE AND I AM TRYING TO HAVE MORE FAITH THAT IT WILL WORK. I AM SCARED TO DEATH!!!!!! WE HAVE BEEN DOING SO MUCH BETTER AND THIS HAS BROUGHT US CLOSER AS HARD AS IT HAS BEEN ON US. THEY SLOWED DOWN MY MEDICATION AND I STILL PRODUCED 29 EGGS! OUT OF THE 29 EGGS 24 WERE MATURE AND A 100% OF THE EGGS FERTILIZED. WHICH IS UNHEARD OF BTW. SO ON DAY THREE WE HAD 1- EXCELLENT 5- GOOD 15- FAIR 3- POOR. I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE DOING PRETTY WELL. I WAS VERY SORE THIS TIME AROUND FOR MY EGG RETRIEVAL. WE WENT TODAY AND HAD THE EMBRYOS PLACED BACK IN ME TODAY. WHEN WE WENT DR. H SAID THAT WE HAD 3 FAIR BLASOCYSTS! WHICH DEPRESSED ME!

MY CUTE PARENTS

OUT OF 24 EGGS ONLY THREE MADE IT AND THEY ARE NOT THE GREATEST QUALITY! BOY THIS IS FRUSTRATING. WE DECIDED TO PUT ALL THREE IN AND AFTER THEY WERE IMPLANTED THE DR. SAID ONE OF THEM WAS UPGRADED TO A GOOD QUALITY. SO IF IT IS MEANT TO BE WE WILL HAVE A PREGNANCY IN THE END. I WILL FIND OUT ON THE 12TH OF MARCH. SO NOW IS THE WAITIN NOW WE JUST NEED TO PUT OUR TRUST IN THE LORD!

SEA WORLD

I

HOTEL

ANIMAL KINGDOME

DISNEY WORLD

HARRY POTTER WORLD

SO ALL OF THESE PICTURES ARE FROM WHEN MY SWEET MOM AND DAD DECIDED TO TAKE ME TO FLORIDA WITH THEM BECAUSE OF MY FAILED IN VITRO. IT WAS THE SWEETEST THING THAT ANYONE COULD DO! IT HELPED ME MORE THAN THEY WILL EVER KNOW. I FLEW WITH JAXTEN ALONE AND HE WAS PRETTY GOOD ON THE WAY OVER! HE HAD SO MUCH FUN IN FLORIDA. LET ME TELL YOU HE IS ONE TWO YR OLD DURING THIS TIME! WE WENT TO SEA WORLD, UNIVERSAL STUDIOS, MGM, ANIMAL KINGDOM, THE BEACH AND DISNEY WORLD! HE HAD A BLAST! IT WAS AROUND HALLOWEEN TIME AND SO WE GOT TO DO SOME TRICK OR TREATING~ I WILL POST SOME MORE PICS WHEN I GET THEM. HE ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE BEACH! THE TRIP IS WHAT I NEEDED. JAXTEN WAS HORRIBLE ONT THE WAY BACK. HE WAS ONE TIRED BOY! IT WAS WELL WORTH IT. I WILL BE MUCH BETTER AT POSITNG! TIL NEXT TIME!

I AM NOT A BIG FAN OF WAITING.....

SO TODAY WAS MY FIRST DAY BACK AT THE GOOD OL' DENTAL OFFICE FROM BED REST. IT WAS A GOOD AND BAD THING TO BE BACK AT WORK.  I WAS GLAD TO GET THINGS DONE AND ACCOMPLISHED. I WAS SAD TO  LEAVE JAXTEN AT HOME. I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH HIM AND MY HUBBY BUT YOU HAVE TO PAY THE BILLS SOMEHOW I GUESS. IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD DAY. I KEEP FEELING LIKE I AM GOING TO MISCARRY AGAIN BUT I HAVE NOT SO FAR. I AM REALLY HOPING FOR A PREGNANCY THIS TIME AROUND. I FEEL LIKE I AM MORE PREPARED THIS TIME. I AM 6 DAYS OUT FROM WHEN I MISCARRIED LAST TIME. SO I AM TAKING IT A DAY AT A TIME AND HOPEFULLY I WILL MAKE IT TO BLOOD DRAW DAY.
 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT IT IS ALREADY OCTOBER SOON THAT IS REALLY CRAZY. TIME GOES BY WAY TOO FAST! I AM EXCITED FOR JAXTEN TO GO TRICK OR TREATING. HE IS GOING TO BE SPIDER MAN. HE IS PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT THAT. HE IS GETTING TO THE CUTEST STAGE EVER. HE IS BASICALLY THREE AND BOY DOES HE ACT LIKE IT. HE IS SUCH A SMART KID AND I AM NOT JUST SAYING THAT. HE AMAZES ME HOW SMART HE IS FOR A TWO YEAR OLD. HIS PEDIATRICIAN SAYS HE IS A COUPLE OF YEARS OLDER THAN HIS AGE. SO MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. HE IS SUCH AN OUTGOING LITTLE BOY AND SAYS HI TO EVERYONE. HE IS THRIVING AND DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB WITH EVERYTHING. WE STILL HAVE NOT FOUND ABOUT THE JOB MAYBE WE WILL FIND OUT TOMORROW. IT WILL ALL DEPEND ON THE PAY FOR THE JOB. WE WILL HAVE TO HAVE A SITTER FOR TWO MORE DAYS OF THE WEEK... WELL I WILL KEEP PRAYING THAT THIS WILL WORK OUT SOME HOW. I KNOW GOD WANTS ME TO GROW FROM THIS. I AM TRYING TO DO THE BEST I CAN FOR  NOW.

Such a long few months...

So I have not written forever... it has been a rough few months for me and my family. Since I wrote last a lot has happened to us. A couple days before I was about to find out about if I was pregnant or not I started bleeding and so i went to the Dr. office and they took my blood and found out that I was pregnant and my levels would either go up or down from there. I knew in my mind that I was probabaly miscarrying but my family kept saying, "Stay Positive!" I tried to but I kept bleeding and bleeding and went in to the Dr. a couple of days later and found out that i had been pregnant but had miscarried! Quint surprised me by taking me to a hotel downtown just the two of us. We had a very special time together because we were hurting so bad. We went to dinner at a chinese restaraunt at the gateway and went and saw inception. We went and got dessert and went and watched cloudy with a chance of meatballs! We just had a good night and tried to heal a little bit from the miscarriage. This had been very hard for both of us and it has taken time to heal from this.We have had shed many tears over this because we want a child so badly. We want jaxten to have a  sibling, I can say god was with me the whole time and he lifted me the whole way and i know that he was there for me. My mom and dad were great and they helped me more than they know. My dad was such a sweetheart about the whole thing and he cried with me and felt my pain. My parents felt all of the pain that we dealt with losing the babies. My brother's were very sweet about the whole thing and they held me up the whole way and they helped the best that they could with the whole situation and I cried with them too! My brother brad really has helped me with the whole ordeal and he has been really great ! I could have not done it without my family and friends and the lord! MY ward and neighbors were really supportive as well this is def not something i would wish upon anyone~ So I took it a day at a time and slowly healed from it and I am still sad but this will make me stronger! I learned I need to have more faith and it is in god's hands. That is for sure and I know he carried me through this literally carried me!

So here is my cute nephew who was born at the end of August. This is Jeff's son that he had. He was born in lackland airbase and we do not get see him for 9 months which is really sad. My brother is in the airforce and he just moved to Florida with his wife candice. She has been alone alot because of jeff's training! I feel bad for her but she is a strong person for raising a baby in a new state. They are a super cute family!!!!!

So it was my anniversary at the end of July, it has been five years already that is so crazy how time flies by. Quint really tests me and makes me be a better person and does not let me just sit there he really pushes me to be a better person and mother to my little guy. I can tell you that I will never ever take jaxten for granted he is so special to me and i feel so blessed to have him as part of my family. He is really starting to talk a lot he really makes me laugh. He tells me that my butt is a crane thanks jaxten how rude! He is definitely the light of my life i love him sooo much. So I decided to dive right back into invitro and wanted to have my frozen embryos implanted. So the last month and a half i have been taking shots and taking estradiol pills and trying to get my uterine lining bulked up so i will be ready to implant the embryos.  This cycle has been much better on my body and way less stressful. We did not know if the embryos would even survive the thaw and we were very luck they both did and that usually does not happen. we were very blessed in that aspect.  I went in to the Dr. yesterday and they talked with us and implanted both of the embryos we got to see them on a big tv and that was really interesting. They did not have that last time we went in to the clinic. They gave us a picture of the embryos again and so we have that little memory to have. So i feel a little about this cycle but i am trying to stay calm and have faith in the lord and I know if it is his will it will work out in the end. i am on bed rest for the weekend and it is kind of boring but it will be well worth it. I hope it works but only time will tell.

Quint applied for a new job and he would work mon-fri and have weekends off and all holidays we will find out next week if he gets it or not. We will see... Sorry such a long post I could even say more!

LONG TIME NO POST

OK I CAN'T BELIEVE I DID NOT WRITE WHEN THEY DID THE EMBRYO TRANSFER SO I WILL START THERE.  SO WE WENT TO THE DR. LAST THURSDAY FOR THE EMBRYO TRANSFER. I HAD A NERVOUS BREAK DOWN THAT MORNING. I WAS SO NERVOUS THAT IT WOULD NOT WORK.  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 SO THAT WAS GOOD THAT WE HAD THE TWO. SO THE DR. WANTED TO MAKE SURE THAT WE STILL WANTED TWO. HECK YES! SO THE NURSE TOOK ME BACK AND TOLD ME TO CHANGE. SO QUINT AND I PUT OUR GOWNS ON, MASKS, BOOTIES, AND HAIR NETS. WE LOOKED GOOD! LOL SO I WENT IN AND THEY PUT WARMING BLANKETS ON ME AND THE NURSE DID AN ULTRA SOUND ON MY STOMACH WHILE THE EMBRYOLOGIST GAVE US A PICTURE OF OUR FUTURE KIDS. I HELD ON TO THAT TIGHT! THE EMBRYOLOGIST ASKED US 5 TIMES OUR INFO SO THEY DID NOT MIX ANYTHING UP.  SO THE DR. CLEANED EVERYTHING UP AND THEN TOOK THE EMBRYOS IN AND I THOUGHT I WOULD FEEL THEM BUT I DID NOT. IT WAS KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE BUT NOT A HUGE DEAL. HE INSERTED THE EMBRYO'S AND THEN THE EMBRYOLOGIST CHECKED WITH THE MICROSCOPE SO SEE IF THE EMBRYOS WERE IN AND THEY WERE! THEY SENT ME HOME AND I RESTED THAT DAY.  I WAS SO NERVOUS! DID IT WORK? DID IT NOT WORK? AAAAH THIS IS SO HARD. I AM TRYING TO HAVE FAITH BUT IT IS SO HARD. SO MY MOM TOOK JAXTEN THURSDAY AND QUINT'S MOM TOOK HIM FRIDAY.  QUINT TOOK HIM TO THE ZOO WITH GABBY ON SATURDAY.  SO I WAS GOING CRAZY ON BED REST BUT IT IS NOW OVER.

SO TODAY I WENT TO LIBERTY PARK WITH MY MOM, JAXTEN, HANNAHM=, AND SERRA. IT WAS A GOOD DAY. WE WENT ON THE SLIDES, HAD A PICNIC, WENT ON SOME RIDES. WHICH WERE PRETTY GHETTO. FUNNY PICS COMING SOON. SO THIS WHOLE TIME NOT KNOWING IF OR IF NOT IS SO HARD FOR ME. I AM GOING NUTS AND I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETY I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SOMETIMES. I AM TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE BUT I HAVE A COPING MECHANISM THAT IT WILL HURT LESS IF I AM WHEN I FIND OUT.  I AM SO SCARED AND I DO NOT KNOW IF I CAN TAKE IT IF IT DOES NOT WORK OUT. MY GOAL IS TO HAVE FAITH BECAUSE I CANNOT DO ANYMORE. IT IS UP TO GOD AND I NEED TO LEAVE IT TO HIM. WHICH IS VERY HARD FOR ME! I KNOW WHEN I AM GETTING MY ANSWER BUT I AM NOT LETTING ANYONE ELSE KNOW.  MY MOM KNOWS BUT THAT IS IT. SO THIS IS DRIVING ME NUTS AND I HOPE THAT MY ANSWER IS GOOD AND I HOPE THAT I CAN GET A BREAK.  I JUST CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE PAIN. WISH ME LUCK...

EGG EXTRACTION DAY

SO I TOOK A PREGNANCY TEST ON FRIDAY AROUND NOON AND IT WAS POSITIVE ALMOST IMMEDIETLY. I TOLD QUINT I WAS PREGNANT, I KNOW MEAN THING TO DO. SO JAXTEN SLEPT IN UNTIL 11AM WHICH HE HAS NEVER EVER DONE IN HIS LIFE. IT WAS GOOD TO SLEEP IN. I WAS VERY SORE TH IS DAY AND I TOOK WORK OFF AND I TRIED TO TAKE IT EASY. I SLEPT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND RESTED UP FOR THE BIG DAY.
I WOKE UP AND TOOK A SHOWER AND GOT MYSELF READY FOR THE DAY.  I HAD TO WAKE JAXTEN UP SO I COULD TAKE H IM TO HIS AUNT KJERSTEN'S HOUSE.  I COULD NOT EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING AFTER 4AM. WHEN I WOKE UP I WAS VERY THIRSTY PROBABALY BECAUSE I KNEW I COULD NOT DRINK. WE GOT TO THE DR'S. AT 9 AM THERE WAS ONE COUPLE IN FRONT OF US. ANGELA WAS MY NURSE FOR THE DAY, SHE TOOK ME BACK AND EXPLAINED WHAT THEY WERE GOING TO DO IN THE PROCEDURE. I HAD TO PUT A GOWN ON AND BOOTIES AND A CAP FOR MY HAIR. QUINT CAME IN AND SAT WITH ME FOR A WHILE. THEY TOOK ME BACK AND I GOT ON THE TABLE AND THEY PUT SOME REALLY WARM BLANKETS ON ME. WHICH I LOVED~!!! THEN THEY NUMBED MY ARM U P AND PUT IN VERCED TO MAKE ME KIND OF LOOPY. THEN I REMEMBER THEM PUTTING A OXYGEN MASK ON ME AND NEXT THING I KNOW I AM OUT OF SURGERY. I DID NOT EVEN KNOW THEY HAD STARTED. THE NURSE TOLD ME THAT THEY GOT 33 EGGS. WHICH IS UNHEARD OF, SO THAT MADE ME FEEL GOOD. I OVERWHELMED THEM WITH ALL OF MY EGGS. I WAS VERY SORE SO THEY GAVE ME MORE DEMORAL FOR THE PAIN. I GOT H OME AND TOOK A BATH AND RESTED THE WHOLE DAY. I TOOK SOMETHING FOR PAIN AND JUST RESTED. I WAS VERY SORE AND DECIDED TO EAT CHEESE POPCORN NOT VERY SMART TO DO!!!LOL! I STARTED THROWING UP, NOT SO FUN. QUINT WENT TO LUNCH WITH JACE AND WENT TO TOY STORY WITH JAXTEN AND MY MOM. HE DID PRETTY WELL! THAT WAS HIS FIRST MOVIE EVER. QUINT GAVE ME PHENEGREN FOR NAUSIA AND I HAD RAMEN FOR DINNER. WHICH HIT THE SPOT FOR ME. RAYLENE RUSSELL CAME OVER AND BROUGHT ME DINNER AND WAS ASKING ABOUT THE PROCEDURE. I WENT AND TOOK ANOTHER NAP FOR THE NIGHT. IT WAS A GOOD AND BAD DAY!
TODAY I RESTED TIL ABOUT 11AM AND QUINT TOOK JAXTEN TO HIS MOM'S HOUSE AND SHE WATCHED H IM SO WE COULD REST. THEY COOKED US DINNER AND THEN QUINT DROPPED ME OFF AT MY MOM'S HOUSE. THE NURSE CALLED AND SAID OF THE 33 EGGS THAT SURVIVED 22 WERE MATURE. OUT OF THE 22 EGGS 5 HAD DIED LEAVING US 16. WHICH IS STILL A HIGH NUMBER! THEY ARE PLANNING ON IMPLANTING THEM ON THURSDAY WHICH IS A BLASOCYST STAGE AND THAT IS A 100 CELLS. 1 OF MY EGGS ONLY HAD MY DNA, 1 HAD ONLY QUINT'S DNA, AND ONE HAD TOO MUCH DNA, AND THE OTHER TWO DIED OFF. I AM PRAYING FOR THEM TO KEEP SURVIVING AND HOPING FOR TWO! BUT ATLEAST ONE BABY. I HOPE I H OPE THIS WILL WORK. WE ARE LUCKY TO GET SO MANY EGGS. MY DR. SAID I HADD 3X'S AS MANY AS MOST PEOPLE. YES!!!!!

TRIGGER DAY

BIRTH CONTROL AND LUPRON SHOTS

TRIGGER SHOT

SKIN REACTION TO MEDICATION

MY NIFTY ALCOHOL WIPES

MY NEEDLES THAT I DREW MY MEDICINE WITH.PROGESTERONE SUPPLEMENT

SO TODAY WAS A BIG DAY FOR ME. I FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE ABOUT 6 BIG EGGS AND I COULD DO MY TRIGGER SHOT TODAY. QUINT WENT WITH ME BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN FEELING REALLY DIZZY LATELY. MY OVARIES ARE SO BIG THEY ARE ALMOST TOUCHING EACHOTHER. I WENT TO BREAKFAST THIS MORNING YUMMY! WE PICKED UP JAXTEN FROM MY MOM'S HOUSE AND HEADED HOME FOR THE DAY. I AM VERY SORE TODAY AND I AM HAVING HOT FLASHES!!! HEATHER CALLED ME AND TOLD ME TO TAKE MY MED AT 10:30 PM ON THE DOT. SHE GAVE ME INSTRUCTIONS FOR MY SURGERY ON SATURDAY. I AM SCHEDULED FOR 9:30 AM AND I AM PRAYING THAT THEY WILL GET SOME GOOD EGGS. THIS REALLY HAS BEEN HELL THIS YEAR FOR US SO I AM PRAYING THAT THIS WILL BRING US SOME GOOD EGGS AND EMBRYO'S. I DID THE SHOT AND THE TIME I WAS SUPPOSE TO SO NOW IT IS NOT UP TO ME. I DID EVERYTHING THAT I COULD WITH THE MEDICATION. IT IS NOW OUT OF MY HANDS AND I NEED TO TRUST MY DRS. SO HEATHER IS NOT GOING TO BE THERE AND THAT MAKES ME SAD BECAUSE I HAVE REALLY BECOME ATTACHED TO HER. KIND OF SOUNDS WIERD BUT SHE GOT ME THROUGH THIS. RCC HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE AND I HAVE EXPERIENCED THE BEST CARE I POSSIBLY COULD EVER GET. THEY HAVE MADE THIS EXPERIENCE GOOD SO FAR!!!! I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED ON MY PROGRESS.

DAY 25-27

SO THESE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS HAVE BEEN EXTREMELY HARD ON MY BODY! I HAVE BEEN CRAMPING SOOO BAD AND I FEEL LIKE MY OVARIES ARE GOING TO EXPLODE. I GOT A BREAK FROM THE DR. ON MONDAY AND QUINT AND I WENT TO LUNCH AND WE SAW ECLIPSE AGAIN!!!!! IT WAS FUN! IT IS NICE TO GET AWAY BY YOURSELF EVERY NOW AND AGAIN.

I HAD AN APPT. ON TUESDAY AND I PASSED OUT AT THE DR. OFFICE. THEY HAD ME LAY ON THEIR COUCH AND DRINK SOME JUICE. I DO NOT KNOW WHY I WAS SO DIZZY THAT DAY. THEY TREATED ME VERY GOOD. I WENT TO WORK NOT FEELING VERY GOOD BUT I LASTED THROUGH THE DAY. WE WENT TO QUINT'S DAD HOUSE AND I GOT A BLESSING FROM JACE, JON, AND QUINT. THAT WAS NICE TO HAVE, WE THEN WENT TO EAT SOME PIZZA WHICH WAS YUMMY!!!! I WENT TO BED WHEN I GOT HOME BECAUSE I WAS SORE.

SO TODAY I HAD A DR.  APPT AND THE EGGS ARE STILL NOT BIG ENOUGH. SO I WENT AND BOUGHT ONE DOSE FOR TONIGHT.  I WENT TO THE PHARMACY AND THEN WENT BACK TO THE DR. OFFICE TO PAY. THEN I WENT TO THE DI AND GOT US SUBWAY FOR LUNCH.  DR. HATASAKA TOLD ME MY EUTERUS LOOKS VERY GOOD! SO TONIGHT I WAS GIVING MY MEDS TO MYSELF I SPILLED IT ALL OVER MY MOM'S COUNTER. I HAVE AN ANXIETY PANICK ATTACK. IT IS AFTER HOURS AND I NEED MEDICINE SO I CALL THE AFTER HOURS NUMBER AND THEY HAD ME TALK TO HEATHER AND SHE TOLD ME TO HEAD UP THERE AND SHE WOULD DONATE SOME MEDICATION TO ME. WHICH WAS VERY NICE, I FELT VERY BAD!!!! TRAFFIC WAS HORRIBLE, MY MOM DROVE ME BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I WAS LIGHT HEADED AGAIN. HEATHER GAVE ME A SHOT AT THE OFFICE AND THEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AND CAME BACK TO MY PARENT'S HOUSE. MY DAD GAVE ME A BLESSING AS WELL AND THEN I CAME BACK HOME. I KNOW THIS WILL TEACH ME A LESSON AND I KNOW IT WILL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST. I AM THINKING MY EGGS WILL BE READY TOMORROW AND WE WILL HAVE THE SURGERY ON SATURDAY.  I HOPE THAT THEY GROW SOME TONIGHT AND WE WILL BE GOOD. I HOPE WE GET SOME GOOD EGGS THAT WILL GROW US SOME BABIES. I HOPE!!!!

DAY 22-24

SO THIS WEEKEND HAS NOT BEEN SO FUN! I WENT ON FRIDAY TO MY DR. APPT AND THE EGGS WERE 10MM AND THEY NEEDED SOME GROWING TO DO. MY ESTRODIAL LEVEL WAS 350 THAT DAY. I GOT THE WORST HEADACHE IN MY LIFE. IT TURNED INTO A MIGRAINE. QUINT WORKED THAT NIGHT SO MY MOM TOLD ME TO STAY OVER AND MY DAD COULD GIVE ME SOME MEDICATION AND SHE WOULD WATCH JAXTEN. I TALKED TO DR. HATASAKA THAT NIGHT AND HE TOLD ME TO TAKE IMMATREX. I WAS ZONKED FROM THE PHENEGREN SHOT MY DAD GAVE ME. WHICH HURT REALLY BAD BY THE WAY... MY BUTT IS STILL SORE. THE NEXT DAY WE HAD A SWIMMING PARTY AND I TOOK JAXTEN SWIMMING AND HE HAD A GOOD TIME. THEN QUINT WORKED AGAIN LAST NIGHT AND I WATCHED "REMEMBER ME." I CRIED AT THE END! THEN I HAD A DREAM THAT I WAS DATING ROBERT PATTINSON. MY BRAIN DREAMS WIERD THINGS!!! TODAY I HAD ANOTHER DR. APPT AND MY EGGS ARE 13MM TODAY. I WAS HOPING TO STOP MY MEDICATION. NOPE, I HAVE TO GO BACK ON TUESDAY FOR ANOTHER CHECK. THEY ARE THINKING EITHER THURSDAY OR FRIDAY TO TAKE MY EGGS OUT. WELL I HOPE THEY KEEP ON GROWING. MY ESTRODIAL LEVEL IS 1400. SO THAT IS WHY I AM GETTING MY HEADACHES!!!! USUALLY YOUR LEVELS ARE AT 10 NORMALLY. SO IT WILL JUST GET WORSE. LOL. I AM GIVING JAXTEN A BATH RIGHT NOW SO I BETTER HURRY AND WASH HIM.

DAY 20-21

SO LAST NIGHT WAS A TRAUMATIC NIGHT FOR ME. YOU HAVE TO MIX HCG, LUPRON, AND FEMARA PERFECTLY. I HATE MIXING MY MEDS BECAUSE IT STRESSES ME OUT SOOOO BAD. SO QUINT USUALLY DOES IT. LAST NIGHT HE WAS AT SCHOOL SO I WAS BEING REALLY CAREFUL TO GET ALL THE MEASUREMENTS RIGHT. I WASH ON MY 4TH BOTTLE OF FEMERA AND TRYING TO GET ALL OF THE MEDICINE OUT OF THE BOTTLE AND IT LEAKS OUT OF THE NEEDLE AND I KNOW I LOST SOME MEDICINE. ONE SHOT IS $200.00 SO I DID NOT GET ALL OF MY DOSE. I AM FREAKING OUT THINKING I RUINED MY WHOLE CYCLE. SO I DO THE SHOT AND MY STOMACH SWELLS LIKE NO OTHER. IT IS SOOOO PAINFUL. YES, USUALLY THE STICKS HURT BUT THIS LASTED A 4 HOURS. I PUT ICE ON IT AND IT HURT SO BAD. QUINT TOLD ME I HIT A CAPILLARY IN MY STOMACH. FEELS MUCH BETTER TODAY.  YESTERDAY I WENT TO THE DR. FOR MY BLOOD TEST AND ULTRASOUND. MY RIGHT OVARY IS GETTING TO A SLOW START. IT ONLY HAS ABOUT FIVE EGGS AND MY LEFT HAS ABOUT 10. WE LOST THREE EGGS, SAD!!! HE SAID IT LOOKS GOOD AND TO KEEP ON MY MEDICINE. QUINT WILL BE DOING THAT TODAY.  I DO NOT LIKE MIXING THE MEDICATION. THE LAB CALLED ME YESTERDAY AND SAID MY LEVELS WERE AT 151 SO THAT IS  A GOOD NUMBER.

I WENT TO ECLIPSE WITH MY FRIENDS AND IT WAS SOOOO FUN!!!! I LOVED IT. WAS MY FAVORITE OF ALL THREE MOVIES. WE WENT TO THE 12:30 AM SHOWING. I GOT ABOUT 2 HOURS OF SLEEP AND DID GOOD YESTERDAY. I ATE LOTS OF SUGAR. THEN I CRASHED AND BURNED LAST NIGHT AND WENT TO BED AROUND 9PM. IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT. I HAD A DR. APPT EARLY AND WORK ALL DAY. LOL. I AM MUCH BETTER TODAY.

SO I HAVE A DR. APPT TODAY AND I WILL BE LATE TO WORK BUT AFTER THAT WE WILL SEE HOW THE DAY GOES. I AM GLAD TO FINALLY BE DONE WITH WORK THIS WEEK.  SO WE WILL SEE HOW TODAY GOES... QUINT IS TURNING 31 TOMORROW AND WE BOTH HAVE DR. APPTS. SO WE WILL SEE IF MY EGGS ARE GROWING TOMORROW. PLUS I AM GETTING MY HAIR COLORED YAAAAAAAAH!

Day 19

So today was an ok day at work actually kind of slow day.... I am so super excited I am going to midnight showing of eclipse with cammie, karie, and charissa. We are even wearing our twilight shirts. I will post pictures!!! I am getting really excited. I have a dr. appt tomorrow at 8:15 so i am going to be dead at work tomorrow. o well it will be worth the show. They test me again tomorrow and do another ultra sound. I am getting nervous~~ I did my shot tonight and it is not too bad. Quint mixes the drugs for me because it is too stressful for me to do it and I still inject the shots into my stomach. I think I only have to do that until monday. I hope that my numbers are up tomorrow. We will see. I am having horrible headaches from the medication. Fun side effect! I am sooooooo excited for this I really hope this works!!!!!

Day 17-18

YESTERDAY WE WENT TO CHURCH AND MY VISITING TEACHERS CAME OVER.PRETTY QUIET BORING DAY. I HAVE  NOT BEEN WANTING TO WRITE BUT I PROMISED MY SELF I WOULD WRITE WHILE GOING THROUGH INVITRO.
TODAY I GOT MY NAILS DONE AND I HAD TO GET MY BLOOD DRAWN. MY ESTROIDAL LEVEL SHOULD BE AT A 100 AND IT IS AT 50. THEY INCREASED MY MEDS TO SEE IF THAT HELPS. THAT IS STRESSING ME OUT REALLY BAD. I HOPE THE INCREASE HELPS WITH MY BODY. AHHHH I AM FREAKING OUT.
I WENT TO LEATHERBY'S WITH QUINT AND JAXTEN AND IT WAS YUMMY. WELL OFF TO BED... SORRY SO SHORT!

Day 16

Today was saturday so I cleaned all this morning. I mowed the back lawn and mopped, did laundry, and cleaned my upstairs. I got quite a bit done this morning. So that was a good thing. I decided to get Jaxten's hair cut and I usually take him to cookie cutters but they were busy so I took him to great clips. Not s uch a good idea. He screamed and kicked and the lady was going all slow. I was thinking, " Hurry it u p he is two and does not have much patience!" He did not have s uch a pleasant experience. 
We went to my mom's in the afternoon I tried to swim with Jaxten but my mom's pool heater is broken so it was much too cold for a swim.  Jaxten took a nap for 4 hours and so did Quint and I. I mixed my shot today and it was a lot harder than quint made it look yesterday. I was all stressing out. He still had to help me. I wanted to the shot myself and I did. My dad did not like me lifting my shirt up in front of him.  It's not like I was taking my shirt off. lol. It was my stomach, and I did not swell as bad with this shot.  We had KFC for dinner and took Jaxten on the rides at T-ville days. I will  post pictures when i get them on my computer. He went on some cars, bugs that fly in the air, spaceships, Monster trucks, Two different train tracks. On one of them they had to stop the ride because he was standing up.lol.  We went on the merry go round. Quint had to leave early and my mom met me down at the rides and we got some dip n' dots and went up to my mom's  house for fireworks. Jaxten really liked them and some family from my parents ward sat on their lawn and Jaxten was cuddling with some guy and making himself at home. He kept calling him daddy. It was pretty embarassing. Quint is playing cards at my brothers right now. I went to my appt. and they think I have 17-18 eggs but we will see how many grow. I go back on monday for bloodwork and wednesday for a vaginal ultrasound and more blood work. This is crazy that the implantation is coming up so fast. So good so far, I am just trying to keep faith. Thats all I can do!!!!

DAY 15

TODAY WAS A BIG DAY!!!! I HAD MY SUPRESSION CHECK TODAY AND WENT REALLY WELL. THEY TESTED MY BLOOD AND DR. HATASAKA DID A VAGINAL ULTRASOUND ON ME.  I GOT TO SEE MY UTERUS ON THE MONITOR IT WAS PRETTY COOL. MY UTERUS LOOKED REALLY GOOD. HE SAID, " MT UTERUS COULD NOT LOOK ANY BETTER!' YAAAAAH! THENT HE LOOKED AT MY LEFT OVARIE AND THERE WERE ABOUT 7 EGGS OR SO. MY RIGHT OVARY HAS ATLEAST TEN AT THIS POINT SO THAT IS GOOD NEWS. I START THREE MEDICATIONS TODAY. HCG,LUPRON, AND FEMERA. (THE EGG GROWING MEDS) I HAVE TO MIX IT PERFECTLY SO QUINT IS GOING TO HELP ME WITH THAT.  SO I HOPE MY BODY DOES NOT HAVE BAD REACTIONS AND I WILL BE GOOD. IT IS GETTING CLOSER SO THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. SO THE NEWS IS GOOD SO FAR. YAAAAH. I AM TRYING TO HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD THAT IT WILL WORK.  I HOPE I HOPE THIS WORKS!!!!

Day 13-14

Ahhh.... I have been really bad at writing everyday so I apologize!!! So yesterday was the first day of my new hire at work. She seems to be doing really well so far so that makes me really happy. I was a little worried but I think I found the right one.  I dropped Jaxten off at Kjersten's house and I left for work.  I got there and was pretty busy all day.  It was a pretty good day at work.  I was worried because i stopped my birthcontrol on the 18th and then I was supposed to have a period and I did not get it until yesterday and I thought it would throw off whole cycle.  My shots are starting to hurt more and more because my stomach is sick of all the sticks!!!! I read a book took a bath it was a good day.

Today is thursday and I headed off to work in the morning.  I was worried because I have been having a RCT done and this was my third appointment. This tooth was difficult. I had a huge honkin cold sore from being worked on last time. So my tooth did not get numb easily so he had to give me 6 carpules of anes. my tooth is retarded. Then my dad numbed my left and right side of lip so I could not feel the cold sore.  The left side came unnumb 30 minutes into procedure.  So he put super glue on the cold sore and that made it feel much better. My appointment took over two hours to finish. ahh i am glad it is done with. I got a cashier's check for the rest of the money we owe and then picked up jaxten and went to taylorsville days. He went on cars, merry go round, big slide, train, and much more.... he had a blast. He had a lot of fun. My shot tonight felt not so good. "I have some nice burning around the injection sight.  Tomorrow is a big day. My supression appt. where they see if my ovaries have been shut down. If they have I go to three shots a day to make my eggs grow! Wish me luck!

Day 11-12

Ummmmmm.... I have to think about yesterday. oh yes, Quint and I had an appt. to sign a bunch of paper work for the invitro.  It took from 9:30-12pm. Which is a while for paper work.  I feel like we are signing our life away.  We talked with some named Michelle for part of our paper work.  She went over a big part of the two cycle package that we are paying for.  We gave the billing department $13,000 in cash.  The lady said, " Have you heard of a check?" I was thinking have you heard of an audit!  So that took a while to count our cash.  We still owe about $4,000 and I am going to pay that on Friday at my appointment.  After that we met with Heather Riley to finish up signing consent forms and then we went home and picked Jaxten up from my mom's house.  I slept over at her house the night before so I did not have to wake Jaxten up way early.  My mom made us breakfast of french toast and bacon which was very good! I did some house work and took a nap and I hired a girl on at the office.

Today I had work which I did not want to go to.  Oh well such is life, Today was acutally a busy day at work so it went by pretty fast.  After work I got the rest of the money from Quint's parents then Quint had to leave for work. So I really did not see him today. This is his last Tuesday for his second job.  Today Jaxten had a Dr. appoitment. He is 50th % for heighth, 25% for weight and his head is still huge.  Jaxten's dr. said he is glad to see his Kindergartenders know the stuff that Jaxten knows. He feels like he is really smart.  So that makes me happy.

I am getting more and more excited for the invitro I want it to get closer.  I really hope it works!!!! I am putting my faith in the lord on this one. Quint thinks it is going to be a boy if I get pregnant.  We will see? I just want jaxten to have a friend to play with.  He deserves that much, my shot today did not feel so good but I am getting used to them. imagine that????

My Fertiliy specialist is Dr. Hatasaka, My pediatritcian- Dr. Terashima, My OBGYN- Dr. Yamashiro. I hope this man makes me a miracle baby!

Day 10

So today was Father's day!!!!! I let quint sleep all day because he works tonight.  He really enjoyed that, I got him some pants and shirts and a book that his dad gave him last night.  The same one so I had to take it back.  We had dinner at my mom's and there was drama there.  I like how when you have to do shots people are rude to you because it is inconvenient~~~ "I am sorry my shots don't fit into your schedule!" I was very upset and people can just be huge asses on this subject.  Sorry of my langugage but it angers me!!!! Quint calmed me down and we played some games tonight as a family. That was a lot of fun!!! My cousin and aunt came over today as well. It was good to see them.  I have this nasty hive type rash on my arms and it really itches.  i am not sure if my meds are causing it or what but it is not fun.  Jaxten totally freaked out and he did not want a bath and was being his normal tantrum thrower.  I just stay calm with him and try to calm him. We are going to sign all of our forms tomorrw and we are going to pay.  Yikes
I hope this works.....

Day 8 -9

Ok I was bad last night and I was too tired to write.  Yesterday I went shopping the morning with Jaxten for groceries.  Which, by the way, he was really good yesterday.  I went to my sister-in-law babies shower last night.  It was hard to go to, but I am happy for her so good luck to her.  Baby shower's are always hard though.  Jaxten had a lot of fun with all of the other kids there.  Somehow he got sick from something last night.  He threw up in the night and then in the morning and has diarhea.  he is pretty miserable. 

So my meds are not agreeing with my stomach.  i feel like I am going to throw up and that is not a good feeling.  I do not want t he shot tonight.  oh well.... you gotta do it~ I feel crappy today but I am not sure if it is a bug or if it is my medication.  We are going to dinner tonight at Quint's Mom house for dinner.  So that should be interesting. We are trying to gather the money up while we have to pay for invitro this week. About $17,000.